Icky, pointless, invasive is this the death of sex on TV?

Gen Z have had enough of sex scenes – but it’s not because they’re prudish. In fact, certain shows prove there are new ways of getting erotic television right

From TV shows such as Sex and the City and Game of Thrones to films including Basic Instinct and Call Me By Your Name, many of screen’s greatest hits are known for their steamy sex scenes. A new report , however, has found that this might not be the case for long. According to the annual Teens and Screens report – which surveys 1,500 people aged 10 to 24 – gen Z want to see way less sex and trauma depicted onscreen.

Instead, they want more emphasis on self-love and friendships. Their preference is to watch “lives like (their) own”, as well as “authenticity” rather than romance and sex, which respondents believe is excessively prevalent in TV shows and movies.

Dee Whitnell, a 24-year-old transgender activist and accredited sex educator, says part of the reason gen Z place less significance on sexual relationships and value watching friendships is because socio-cultural expectations are being subverted in real time – and this generation are the first to experience it.

“I think gen Z place less emphasis on romance because many young people aren’t interested in the concept of a nuclear family, or of marrying, or having children, or finding ‘the one’,” they explain. “Many gen Z and young adults are moving away from that idea. I’m one of those people – I don’t want children or a marriage. Gen Z also know that romance isn’t the ‘fix all’ it is presented as in the media. They want more focus on platonic love and self-love because it’s more realistic to how they feel.”

Increasingly, today’s shows aimed at younger audiences attempt to address this by focusing on strong friendship ties between characters, and exploring the nuances of navigating platonic relationships and the love and fallout that can come with it. Think Otis and Eric in Netflix’s Sex Education, or Cassie and Maddy in HBO’s Euphoria.

“We want to break away from the dominant narrative in film and TV where meaningful relationships must be rooted in sex,” says 23-year-old Yernur. “I also don’t think this is an exclusively gen Z thing – most people like the feelgood feeling of friendships.”

One of the reasons gen Z audiences dislike some sex scenes is because of the instrusiveness of watching other people have sex. The UCLA report found that 47.5% of 13-24-year-olds said steamy scenes were not needed for the plot. “When these scenes aren’t necessary it feels like voyeurism, and it feels invasive to the character’s intimacy and private life,” says 22-year-old Livia, who specifically had issues with the Abdellatif Kechiche-directed film Blue Is the Warmest Colour. “It was very long and had loads of closeups – it just felt exploitative watching it.”

There are also issues with scenes that depict sexual assault. “Personally I don’t think it needs to be shown, ever,” says 23-year-old Sade. “I think there can be power in the aftermath of how it’s dealt with and the consequences – it doesn’t need to be shown.”

A misogynistic approach to erotic scenes is another problem that is repeatedly raised with people I speak to. “They perpetuate a very specific macho brand of masculinity where women are sex objects,” says Yernur of James Bond films Spectre and No Time to Die. “Whatever little traits either character had are lost as soon as they are engaged in plotless, pointless sex. They just feel so generic and icky, in the same way as pornography.”

Sade is particularly bothered by the brutality of shows such as Game of Thrones. “I don’t like the way they did scenes, because of the aggressiveness and the violence towards women. I don’t think that needs to be shown for the sake of entertainment.”

However, to make blanket statements about interest in sex scenes being dead among young people would be inaccurate, argues 24-year-old Mia. She says that if they add value to the plot or an audience’s understanding of a character it can be an enjoyable watch. “I seek out what I find comforting and heart-wrenching and fanny-flutter-inducing,” she says. “I like it when I can learn about a character’s intimacy and connections and if it is through a sex scene then that’s fine.”

“There’s a scene in Normal People where after sex they lie on the floor naked and you see a whole willy,” she says. “I like how realistic this is. Mainstream film always shows sex under covers so the private bits aren’t revealed. Shame around our bodies and nudity is something that can be remedied by seeing other people naked – so sex on screen can aid that if done correctly.”

Livia adds that showing the intimacy between people sensitively during sex scenes can be a way to make them work. She commends how queer intimacy is portrayed in 2019 film Portrait of a Lady on Fire, where the sex scene is focused on the connection of the characters and serves the audience’s understanding. “It was directed by a queer woman [Céline Sciamma], and you can see the difference,” she says. “It was more realistic – which is nicer. It was less pornographic, it just felt like a film with a scene containing sex.”

For Mia it’s scenes such as these – which don’t centre on the male gaze – that can make them worthwhile. “There was a trans sex scene in the last episode of Sex Education which made me realise I’ve never seen a representation like that before. I think sex like that should be a standard part of TV and film.”

When a sex scene is executed well, gen Z welcomes it with open arms. The use of intimacy coordinators in shows such as Sex Education has been applauded by viewers. Livia says she can “feel the difference” and Mia argues that it benefits the storyline by being more realistic.

Ultimately, gen Z isn’t dismissive of sex, relationships, identities and sexual agency. They just have their own ideas about them – and want to see them reflected on screen. “It’s not that gen Z is prudish,” says Dee. “I think they have healthier ideas of themselves. They want to see individuals of all varieties on screen, of all sexualities, romantic attractions and relationship types, from different backgrounds and cultures.”

“And because they understand themselves more than any other group, they want to see themselves reflected in the media they consume, which means they want more complex characters who identify outside the binary. They want characters who have an understanding of these wider concepts of the male gaze and heteronormativity because they themselves do.” The death of sex on TV, it seems, may have been exaggerated.

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